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In a recent article entitled, “Why Church And Men Don’t Mix,” radio host and commentator Doug Giles asks this provocative question: “Why do churches today look more like the bra and panty department at Sears rather than a battalion of men poised to kick demonic butt?”
He goes on to state, “The lack of men in church is not at all difficult to see. Just pry yourself out of bed on any Sunday morning and go to church. Then, count the number of ladies in the pews and the number of men. The result will more than likely be that you’ll get slapped in the face” with the reality that men are not attending church.
The reason in Giles’ estimation? “Going to church has become very dainty. That’s right. Church, for most men, has not only become irrelevant, it has also become effeminate. The current lack of strong men within the Church, both in the numeric and leadership sense, has crippled our cathedrals and has helped devastate our nation ethically.”
I have been vaguely aware of a growing concern about the feminization of the American church and the predictable result of masculine men staying away. I say “vaguely” aware because while I’ve read about this phenomenon in articles and books with titles like, “Why Men Hate Church” and “Would Dirty Harry Attend Your Church,” I’ve not witnessed the problem first hand.
I haven’t witnessed it because it’s not a reality where I go to church.
At Graceway we strive to emulate the New Testament pattern of strong, male leadership within the church, and do so without apology. The pastors preach like men. The worship leader leads like a man. The Bible teachers teach like men. The deacons serve like men. We pray like men. We sing like men. And when our hearts are broken by the Spirit, we have even been known to weep like men. After all, it was the apostle Paul, himself a man’s man, who exhorted the church at Corinth, “Act like men.” (1 Cor. 16:13, NASB)
Does such an environment sound intimidating or even demeaning to ladies? Is Graceway a male chauvinist’s paradise? On the contrary! The ladies of Graceway are just as vital a part of the ministry as were Pricilla or Phoebe to their respective churches. But godly women do appreciate godly men who are not afraid to be men – in the pulpit and in the pew.
Are men staying away from church? I have no doubt that in many places that is the case. But the virtually identical number of men and women where I go to church tells me it doesn’t have to be that way.
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